When Your Kid is Golden: Mama Drama Monday

I learned a lot this weekend. I hate to admit it, but it was in the setting of youth sports. And I hate to admit that because I despise how important that setting has become in our family's lives. Mainly, I despise it because of the emotions, the politics, and the injustices that occur more often than not. It seems like no matter how hard we as a family try to be level-headed and team players, we always find ourselves swept up in the political current of youth sport drama. And it sucks.

You know how Scripture often talks about the refiner's fire, and how you have to take the heat to come out on the other side better--like gold? While I have found myself far from the finished product (actually, this weekend I may have taken a couple steps back into the fire's core), I have this kid who's shining bright.

This kid.

I get so wrapped up in the woes and heartaches of the siblings on either side of him, that I hardly take the time to tap into his heart. But, Someone has been there all along, working and refining and polishing him to this unbelievable shine.

When I see injustice--my son says, "It's just a game, mom." But yet, he gives 110% when he's in the "game".

When I see someone else gaining the favor that he truly deserves--my son only compliments the kid without a sliver of envy.

When I see an opponent get a base hit to first where my son plays, and we grumble--my son gives a fist bump to the opponent and says, "good job".

Geez. I felt like a lump of coal this weekend sitting next my shiny boy in the front seat of the car. Youth sports had gotten the best of me, Mama Bear emerged, and the fair/unfair banter in my head was loud and obnoxious.

Yet my eleven year old took it, tossed out the crap and held onto the gems of the day.  I mean, he's got his flaws...not saying that he doesn't feel the sting of disappointment. Actually, the day started off that way. He came up to me disappointed in the start of the game. Which is probably what triggered my own downward spiral. BUT, what he did with that disappointment revealed all that I learned this weekend.

Now, he's starting his first day of summer camp...what he so excitedly refers to as, "the highlight of his summer". I am so happy for him. That he gets this time to spend with friends, and God, and goodness.

THAT is what his shiny heart truly deserves. Praying he comes back rested and ready to show his mama up, once again. ;)

Character Is Out-of-Fashion

My husband and I don't agree on many things, but one thing that we are both passionate about, is raising our kids with character. From the inappropriate playground talk my boys share with me, and the entitlement factor that seems to thread its way through every age group under eighteen these days, I feel like we are walking a very strenuous uphill trek to instill the integrity, character, and respect that seems to lose value every second of my children's growing up.

We see it in our school systems where kids don't have to do their best on their homework or tests the first time...because they are offered a make up date for EVERYTHING. I am not quite sure if this is because of entitled parents pushing school policy for their kids to get the grades they need for acceptance at their alma mater, or if it is an outcropping of a new kind of student that teachers and schools are forced to give that extra chance for their own funding.
Either way, it lacks character and integrity on both sides, in my opinion.

We see it all over youth sports. Where kids no longer know what it means to play as a team, but because of the examples around them...ahem, parents (I am guilty here)...they expect to get their way in the lineup, on the field, and even in a summer baseball camp where they push and shove their way to the front of the line because they are the deserving "A" player.

We see it on the news when politicians, lawmakers and judges decide they just don't care about how their decisions affect others as long as they cater to an elite few. The loudest most obnoxious get their way...and the one with character and steady footing is forgotten (I can think of a candidate who never got the chance he deserved to become a presidential hopeful).

And speaking of presidential candidates, what do our two choices for this upcoming election truly teach our children about integrity, character, and respect?

Just that they really aren't important.

Money is important, fame is important, slander is important.

I don't know about you, but I am not 100% committed to a date at the polls this November.  I am just going to focus on my family...and build character here. Maybe one day, it will be in fashion again.

Here's a telling article on character: http://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2016/06/05/hillary-clinton-email-scandal-consequences-integrity-honesty-column/85205018/

Brotherly love?

Some days, I sit and smile as I listen to my boys playing their imaginary games and getting along like best friends. But then there are days like yesterday, when I see the ugliness of unprovoked meanness. Maybe it's because I am the oldest child, I never experienced the harsh "shunning" of an older sibling, but my 6 year old takes A LOT of my older son acting annoyed with him, even when my 6 year old is just being a friend to him! Grrr...it makes me so angry!
And yesterday topped it off when my oldest's friend was at the house, and my 6 year old told him with great enthusiasm what he got for Christmas. The friend just shrugged his shoulders and blew him off like he could care less. Is that an 8/9 year old boy attitude thing?
If it is, I am not going to sit back and let it ride out. This is a perfect opportunity to chisel my oldest's character, and although I know the process is going to be painful, hopefully he will thank me some day. There is no excuse to treat anyone less than human, right? My son treats our dog better than his younger brothers at times!

It doesn't help my nerves that my 6 year old's strongest quality is his ability to put others ahead of himself. He has often given up a toy to let someone else have it, given his whole allowance to a Salvation Army bucket, and most of all, adores his older brother and rejoices with him when he rejoices! Last night, he got so excited for my oldest that I finally downloaded some music on his new ipod touch. My 6 year old was more excited for him than he was! Geez, twist my heart even more!
Now, my oldest is not without great qualities...he also has a big heart, but he focuses it less on his brother and more on everyone else.
I constantly tell him that one day he will regret not having a good relationship with his brother...heck, my sisters and I just started getting along well into our adult life.
 But most of all, I have to remember to pray specifically for the boys' friendship.
In our family, one of our values is, "I am third"- God, others, self...It's been easy to show this to the boys in broad terms during the holidays, but now we need to hone in on our family core...God help us!