Monday, September 26, 2011

Bold Up at ACFW!

I am on the other side of my second ACFW conference, and as I had prayed on the first day, I am completely humbled. God's hand works in mighty ways and He was OBVIOUSLY present in St. Louis...not just in my triumphs, but in my trials--molding and shaping--His blessings poured onto the friends around me, and His glory was spoken, sung, and shown. What an amazing thing to be around so many professionals in this tricky business of publishing, and have a common thread of Christ throughout the 700 people in attendance!
I was personally blessed with connecting to precious friends who I have spent this past year getting to know on blogs, loops, and through crit groups.
It's funny how my prayers were answered when it came to interest in my manuscripts, but how I tossed aside the excitement and wrestled with severe self-doubt almost instantaneously. I had this impending doom that I was fooling myself and others into thinking I could write, and now I had to prove it by sending in my stuff. It was at these moments of dread, that I found support in my friends and realized God has placed some amazing women in my life.
My fellow Alley Cats surrounded me with prayer, my crit partner encouraged me and even talked to other agents and publishers about my work (she is amazing), and my parents (who flew to St. Louis just to watch my baby in a small hotel room...thank you!) kept giving me pep talks.
My cup overflows with the people God has given me!
As I left the conference, I had one of the Alley Cats, Mary Vee, look at me and say,
"You need to bold up."
Amen, Mary. I will never forget that...and hopefully, in a conference or two, I will be a bold, new author with confidence and a contract! :)
Now, I have work ahead of me. I have never felt so driven. It is all because of the prayers that were said that I feel like it might be possible to tweak my book and proposal to a new level...and I am dedicated to doing my best...because that's all I can do!

Saturday, September 17, 2011

My First Goodbye

I've lived here for 2 1/2 years...wait...2 1/2 wonderfully blessed, full, fun years! And when I first found out we were moving, I didn't think it would be too big of a deal. Yes, we have had a great time, but we knew it wasn't forever, and we are only moving a couple of hours away.
So I've been upbeat, busy bee (not my style at all!), and focusing on the kids for this transition of schools, neighborhoods, familiarity.

But when it came to say the first goodbye, my heart trembled and I wept. How could this be? How could I let this move get to me when I had prepared myself not to get too attached in the first place?
But I was saying goodbye to the women who welcomed me first, who allowed me to take the reigns of their ministry as coordinator, and shape it and mold it without really knowing me-- PLC MOPS, or now known as Cafe Mom-- is now a closed chapter in my life, a first goodbye that made me realize I am not as ready for this as I thought.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

A Dream Unfading

Sometimes a dream kind of fades away and you know that it is no longer attainable, or worthy of your time. Every once in a while, I think that way about writing. Yesterday, I got my first rejection in my pursuit for an agent...actually, my first rejection for this particular book. And even though I was a little sad and freaked out at the possibility I may never find a place for this novel, I was still able to see the forward movement in my growth as a writer by processing all the agent said to me (she was very kind to respond to my query thoroughly). I have already gained much from this rejection, and don't see the dream fading, but pulsating with clarity in its persistence to reach that next level. One door may have closed momentarily, but God is swinging the greater door to and fro, coaxing me forward to see what is in store next. My dream is just around the corner, alive and well, and I am gathering up the armor to fight for it and make it reality.