Who am I, that I should..?

Moses asked this very question, "Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should bring the
sons of Israel out of Egypt?"

He asked it to the Maker of the Universe. How inadequate he must have felt to do such a task. And while his task seems greater than any that I might ever be asked...I understand his sense of inadequacy.

I understand it from the side of my daughter's bed at night, admiring her freckled nose, and watching her bright eyes gently closing, and grasping the potential of so much greatness that I can hardly catch my breath...and I am her mom. I am the one who will guide her, model the woman she might become.  Who am I, that I should be trusted to be that person in her life?

I understand it when I sit in the living room and my high schooler excitedly rambles on and on about his fitness routine, his aspirations for the next season of ball, his hopes and dreams and...sometimes his own insecurities. Who am I, to pour goodness and encouragement in such a motivated creature as my son?

I understand it when my youngest son begins to share his opinions on great big world things, and his intelligence casts shadows over mine, and his passion for change is the same as mine once was as a young adult...and he's eleven. Who am I, to have the words to give room for his opinions, to allow him to think uniquely, to not impose my own point-of-view that would shape a bias in his life?

And I especially understand it when my child is sick, and I lose patience with the whining, and I give him all the comforts in my limited knowledge, then walk away from his misery, saying "this is all we can do" and I don't affirm him when I should, nor take him seriously...until it's serious. Who am I, to be trusted with nurturing and caring for these little people?

I am so human, it's debilitating. I am so flawed, mistakes are inevitable. I am so selfish that sometimes my nose is usually the only point I see clearly.

I am so...

...exactly like the men and women who God used to carry out His plan. I am nothing, and He is everything. In spite of that, He chose me for purposes that I consider treasures above any thing or desire. I am a mother, and a writer. I am a wife, and a friend.

Who am I? I am called. And I can only live out my calling trusting that it really is up to Him why I should.

A Purpose of His Own

My husband and I had a debate this morning. And he was arguing the fact that many believing folk tell non-believing folk that they don't know how they can live without a purpose. This really gets under non-believers' skin. Non-believers embrace a purpose every day. The thing is, just because they don't have a divinely-inspired purpose, doesn't mean that they don't have a Divinely-planned purpose.  They choose to embrace the more explainable, tangible one. The human-limited one. Because really, God can orchestrate man regardless of their knowledge of it.
He's God.
Yeah, that's about it.
Here's an analogy to describe it. This man found his purpose. But it was his own limited mind that assigned it. What greater things he could have done if he chose to seek the One who could offer the man purpose viewed from His perch above?

***

There was a man who believed that there was no such need for a boss or authority or a guide. He could seek his purpose alone with no goals list, objectives, or rules.
He was smart enough.
He found an empty office at an unnamed building with no particular person to direct or guide him, and he took a seat at the desk.
While he sat there, without guidance or goals, he began to make up his own. He worked hard and diligently. He discovered his purpose, self-imposed as it was, and began to produce good from the office he had chosen for himself.
At the end of the long, productive day, he walked out of the office and ran into a business man at the corner.
"Who are you?" The business man asked.
"I am Joe. I work here."
"You do?"
"Yes. I found that office and I have worked hard and long all day."
"But who hired you?"
"Nobody."
"What is your job title?"
"I don't need one. I have worked diligently and found my purpose." And Joe took the business man to his office and showed him spreadsheet upon spreadsheet. "See. I have solved all these problems and deserve to be paid."
"But we don't do this type of work here. You've wasted your time."
"What?" Joe was upset.
"If you would have found the boss, he would have given you the work that needed to be done. You've done work that is good, but it is reserved for the suite next door. They are experts. What a shame for you."
"So I wasted all my time?"
"I suppose. But, the boss would have given you something grander than spreadsheets. His assignments are indescribable."
And Joe's spreadsheets fell to the floor. They didn't look as impressive as he thought. His self-imposed purpose paled in comparison to what the man mentioned of the boss's assigned one. And Joe left the office, leaving behind work that had a purpose, on his scale. And he told himself that was enough, because he could not believe there was a greater purpose for his work. He was the only one who knew his capability, and nobody could change him.
So he left the building and began to search for a new empty desk at a different unnamed building with out a boss or a guide, except himself.
All the while, the boss tucked away a Purposeful work plan for the man who might walk in the doors and ask to join His company.