A Mom’s Word about Anxiety

I hugged my kids this morning...at least 2 of them...(mom of teens here).

One whispered, “I am scared”, but then burst with a smile because it was a fleeting fear amidst the excitement.

Two kids were cool, ready for this day because they truly are “in their element” around their peers, in their classrooms, down the halls (see the kid on the curb, waiting for the bus, snapping his friends that he’s on his way?)

But, one of mine just needed a really long hug, a pep talk all the way from the stairs to the curb...an easy breezy mama encouragement while tears filled his eyes. He didn’t feel good, he admitted his fear, he kept saying over and over, “I can’t do this, Mom”....and I kept smiling saying, “Oh yes you can.”

This is life with anxiety, friends. While some kids go to school to get filled up with friendship, up the cool factor, savor the thrill of being known, some kids are stepping into territory that caves in, with pressure on, expecting uncertainty at every step.

I will just say it—

Mamas, daddies, teachers... speak the truth of kindness into your kiddos—remind them that not everyone is the same, and it’s ok to be kind to those who are different. Remind them that above all else, character counts, and popularity at another’s expense is not worth it. Can I say that again?

👉Popularity at another’s expense is not worth it.👈Remind them to speak truth in the face of rumors, to give grace to that kid who said something weird, to help those who just might not have the confidence to put themselves out there.

Today, I reminded my own kids to be the light, make friends with the kids who are new, and to be kind.

I can’t just send them off to fend for themselves...I want them to fend for others.

It’s the way to be. (I want them to be those people who were that for me—the military brat who went to 3 different elementaries and 3 different middle schools. I know the fear!)

I pray that most kids got the same mama bear advice this morning, the same pep-talk farewell this day, and are walking the halls with my kids, taking the kindness to heart, this first day of school. #mamalove #firstdayofschool #schooldays📚 #kindness #makingadifference

For the Back to School Mamas

"Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened." 

Same with mamas.

I see you mamas out there, sending your babies off to school...to classrooms...to playgrounds... with tears, with hesitation, or even leaps of joy at the re-established routine. I see you letting go of their hands and sending them off to a place without you. 

You are just a week ahead of me. I will walk in your shoes in less than seven days.

Besides the excitement of new schedules after a long summer of sleeping in and chaos, my breath hitches on remembering the hovering fear of school days while I go about my child-free hours. So many fearful thoughts: Who will influence them? What person will stand up for them? Who might walk into their school at any moment...???

You might read my blog posts of a heart tormented by some possible answers to these questions. You, as a mama, might have the very same thoughts swirling about your conflicted heart. Conflicted. That's how it feels, isn't it? You know what supple ground awaits them, yet you also know the risk of letting go.

But, in my core, I know the truth.

And there is nothing in my spirit, in my heart--from my God--telling me that fear is bigger than the truth.

The truth is, I am willing to let go of the reigns of my children's daily encounters and pressures and opportunities, knowing that life lessons are to be learned, that I am to trust something bigger--not the system, or the administration, or the security officers, but I am to trust God with my children when they are apart from me.

It's something I've struggled with all my motherhood life--Trusting God with my babies whom I love more than any other living thing. Perhaps my nurture instinct is overdriven more than others...but I doubt it. I see the love on the faces of other mamas. Just as I see the courage. Just as I am infected by their courageous contagion. And while not every mom I know or see is trusting their kids to my God, I realize that, for me, their actions are challenging me to step away from my over-nurturing tendency, and to look to the One who is molding me and shaping me...and caring for my children even more than me.

The truth is, that I am bolstered by the courage of those mamas around me, the ones who trust their kids to others, who still believe in a system grounded in good, who make my spine stiffen with bravery that just as they are, I am willing to let go even amidst fear and anxiety.

So, when you see a mama slipping their fingers from their babe at the door of a school, know that they are walking a fine trust tightrope. Their spines are stiffened, their courage abounds. And I am a keen observer, watching and praying and hoping. Their courage abounds and I gather it up, pocket it, and pray that I'll find my confident stride next week when I let my own children go.