The Best Advice To Your Youth Athlete: Mama Drama

I drove away fuming from a game last week.

If I was a sportscaster, man, I could have blown the ears off of my listeners.

I had to take a few deep breaths and seriously give myself a pep talk. And shamefully, I'll admit, the game I am speaking of is in the realm of youth sports. YIKES.

 Talk about mama bear, one of those parents, and the very attitude that gives youth sports a bad name.

C'est moi.

Yep, I often find myself running to the sidelines and stumbling into the big pot hole of "that's not fair". And it takes a good talking to self to stop my angry mind from spinning.

Ok. I admitted it. Judge me. But...let me try and redeem myself for a moment.

Because, while my head was reeling and my heart was pounding, and I was grumbling inwardly about all that occurred on the field, my voice of reason suddenly became loud enough to drown out the crapola going through my mind.

"FOCUS, Ang."

"What's the most important thing?"

"Why are we even committing life to this ridiculously time-consuming arena of youth athletics?"

Ok, and finally, the usual last resort, but pretty much the best place to start, "What would Jesus do?"

And you know what?

I found myself taking my son by the shoulders and imparting something that goes against every competitive bone in my body...something that might seem a foolish cop out, something that is very difficult to do, but probably the best way to quench the fire of "unfairness" in any avenue of life. That night, I gave my son a three part motto, and he seemed happy to receive it:

PLAY YOUR BEST.  ENCOURAGE YOUR TEAMMATES.  NEVER SAY, "UNFAIR".

AAAH! This is not natural to me...at all. When the game goes south, all I want to do is go and complain to everyone in sight. And I'm not even playing! But you know, the squeaky wheel doesn't always get the grease. Actually, it might be sent straight to the junkyard. Everyone has a part, everyone looks at things differently. And everyone gets chances AND loses opportunities.

It's all about attitude.

Especially with youth sports. What do I really want out of my child's experience? A shelf piled with trophies, or a young man of character and ability?

If he's going to put forth effort, let it be his best so he doesn't regret a thing.

If he's going to be part of a team, let him not appear that he's in it for himself, but let him lead the team in encouragement.

If he's going to encourage teammates, let him not complain when things don't go his way and the game appears to be full of disappointment, but let him realize that there's so much more than a trophy at stake.

It's time that youth sports become more about the men and women we are developing, and less about the win. If we should yell at our children from the bleachers, let it be an encouragement. If we should wonder why the heck the coach chose that play, let us remember that it really is just a game, and the most important question is "how did my child react, and what does it say about his character?"

I am tired of youth sports getting a bad name because of the lost focus on what it should be about. Let's try and make a difference, not in the scoreboard, but in our kids.

And it starts with me. How about you?

Are you with me?

Happy Mama Drama Monday!

Not so Crazy about Change: Faith-filled Friday

I think one of my greatest instincts is to resist change.  Change is a scary frontier.

It's that flip-flop in my stomach the day before school starts and my child is entering a whole new building, when it was just yesterday that we slept in and had whole semesters of holding hands, singing songs, and scheduling playdates.

 It's that twist in my throat and the burn in my eyes when I look back through a baby book and then across the room at my now thirteen year old baby.

It's that hollow surprise when a coveted memory-filled place no longer exists and I struggle with how to capture my memories made there, not realizing until that moment of loss that I didn't hold them precious at the time of making them.

But those memories become threatened treasures now.


It's an unwelcomed venture when my marriage snags, my child hurts, my life is disrupted from a steady, comfortable pace.

Nope. I am not so crazy about change.

Something triggered my emotions on this pesky word, change, lately. Perhaps it's because the school year is dangerously close to an end, and change is rising on the horizon. Or perhaps, it's realizing that I've neglected the moments that are slowly slipping into memories--because we are making sooo many memories, and are reckless with preserving them. Some are fading to a distant thought, a possible dream, a wonder of time.

Not to say that I don't try and live in the moment. Actually, sometimes the moment is a safe haven for another scary word out there, the Future. And we're at the beginning again, where the future is a scary frontier. Yet, I plan for it, I fret over it, and I focus so much on the "around the corner" that the change happens with my back turned on the here and now.

Perhaps, that's why I am not so crazy about change. It happens when I am distracted.

Christ's words dig deeper into my heart and they plant themselves in a whole new way.

Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. - Matthew 6:34

Maybe this is not just for the faithful to grow trust in the Creator and Provider of the universe, but maybe Christ is cultivating our hearts to live in the moment. Because the moments will flee soon enough. And this life is meant to be abundant, and full, and bursting with love. How can I appreciate that, if I am just dipping my toe in the only day I've got?

Book Baby Nesting

Feeling like I've been nesting lately. When I was pregnant and nearing the due date, those last couple of months were filled with things to do, projects to complete, and heaping my plate with productivity. I know it was nesting because I am typically not a "do-er" as much as I am a "do-er wannabe". But during my nesting period, I thrived on the doing.

These past couple of weeks have me preparing for a different kind of baby...a book proposal. I'm not under contract [YET...a girl can dream], but opportunities arise to get my stories in front of editors on occasion, and this spring has been exceptionally busy [woot woot].  And as I have been energized by writing, I have that strange feeling of a do-er who actually does.

So, while I seem to fall short on blogging on a regular basis lately, it's not because I am slacking, it's because I am writing toward a dream of publication in my sixth year of doing so.

Praying for favor, and word count, and continued momentum. It's so much fun to "nest" for  my book babies.

I am at the Alley today...

Talking about Community in the writing world! Come on by!

Faith Like That: Faith-Filled Friday

My five year old daughter and her friends often play make-believe around the house. Many times, I have accidentally answered to her call, "Mom!" when she is actually talking to her friend who is pretending to be the mom.

It's pretty stinking cute to listen to their chatter. The, "And pretend that...", "And I will pretend this",  "You be so and so..."

Something that I've noticed also, with these conversations going at full speed amidst toy kitchens, toy furniture, toys EVERYWHERE, is that many times, God comes up too. And there is no, "Who's that?" or "Do you mind if I share?" But, I get to hear the beautiful ideas about our Creator from the mouths of babes.

Not that my daughter even knows her friends believe or don't. Not that she even really cares. It's just a part of her language, a part of her growing heart that there is God, and He is good, and He loves her no matter what.

To have faith like that. Sometimes she'll squeeze herself tight and say, "I am giving God a hug, because He's in my heart." And sometimes, out of the blue, around people who might or might not enjoy such a declaration, she exclaims, "I love Jesus so much!"

Sure, you might think that she's learned it all and it means nothing deep down. But if you were a fly on our wall, I can shamefully say that there have been many months where God was an unspoken name, where I feared the fight that might spring from mentioning Him. And so, somehow, the few and far between whispers mingled in my daughter's mind, and the breath of God has begun to blow in to her Spirit. And she knows.

She is His. That's something pretty special.

To have Faith like that.

The Kingdom of Heaven is theirs, Christ says. 

If Heaven is as joy-filled and abounding in love as my little girl shows...I just have to say, I want a Faith like that.

Have a faith-filled Friday...because Jesus loves you so much!