Glory Be: Faith-Filled Friday

The news is blaring with overdose and suicide...of ordinary people, and those who we hold as superstars and idols. But they are all human just the same...no matter what status the world gives.

It is still perplexing though. Why do the men and women who bring us their amazing talents and reach peaks that most of us shall never see in our lifetimes, fall into dangerous addiction or self-deprecating circumstances?

They are on top of the world as far as the world is concerned. But they are human. And they run the same race as us...just with a thousand times more pressure and show.

I am no psychologist, but I do think that I've felt the slightest sense of what it must be like for all those beautiful contributors to our treasured pop culture. I mean, I think we all have felt the slightest sense of what it's like.

As an aspiring writer, I have hit milestones along my path. I used to find that the seconds of joy and contentment were quickly eclipsed by hours, days, months of striving to the next step. The "high" of recognition for my work was hardly sustaining. It wasn't enough to sit in the joy and be blessed to go past that.

I wanted more. My human nature told me that I could get more if I just... I could "refill" that

dissolved joy and contentment if I just... I could, I could...if I just kept striving.

Thankfully, my community of writers and my realigned focus on Truth brought me to a much healthier perspective of this road to my dream. Because I've realized, I am WALKING the dream, not trying to attain the ultimate high of being accomplished. Not wanting to bottle that feeling of accomplishment so I can never feel less again. I'll never "arrive", but I'll always take steps on a purpose-filled path. And as I walk, the only way to enjoy the journey is giving Glory where it's due, and true Glory is certainly not mine, but belongs to the One who blessed me with a calling to write. I think, for our own protection, we are told in Romans:

"For all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God."

Time and again in the Bible, we see men and women fall because of their need to find Glory for themselves. Time and again in real life we see that...we might even live that.

Before, I was hungry for my own glory. For that final boost to fill me up and complete me once and for all. The little blessings along the way weren't cutting it...the big blessings weren't enough.

There is no certain glory attained that will complete me.

Only when I looked past myself and gave the glory to my Creator, 

then I found true contentment 

during the journey.

 Each milestone passed is just affirmation for the next step, not a drug that made me feel good at the moment, and sent me barreling ahead to find the next boost.

It's futile to strive for our own, isn't it? We'll never get enough if we do. The pressure might break us. And there's no life in that.

Have a faith-filled Friday.

Filling In My Dreams With Color

As a child, I read a book about a girl who would draw a picture, and then as she slept, she would live the picture in a dream. It's a book I have searched for, time and again, and cannot find it anywhere. But it made a big impact on me, and now, as I prepare for my sixth writing conference, I know why.

I have been writing my dreams down, just as the girl, and watching them grow into their full potential over these past ten years. Each year I find myself at the ACFW conference, I might not see my book in print yet, but I add some color to my journey, and the dream becomes more real.

It's not as easy as closing my eyes to see the dream play out before me. There's work, always work to be done. It takes time, tears, and... time (did I say that?)

But, although I have no book contract to prove I'm living my dream, I have a ten year journey to prove it. And each step along that way has brought me even more color than I could imagine...and more dream to fill in with those hues.

I have learned the construct of a good story, and a bad one. I have learned the sobering reality of a tough market, and the sobering truth of a trusted critique partner. I have rejoiced in finding soul-mates along the way...women whose hearts beat the same rhythm as mine...whose dreams are at all different stages, but who treasure the same dream as me, regardless.

In the book I mentioned above, the girl ultimately ended up learning something from the dreams spurred on by her drawings. She was a different person at the end of the book because of the dreams she lived throughout it.

I always picture my writing dream culminating with a book on a shelf that might enhance a reader's heart. But, looking back, I realize the dream is more precious than that. I suppose, the dream is a journey, and the heart being changed is mine.

May I never come to a point where my color runs out, or there's no more space in the dream to fill it.

The dream has come true already.

I can't believe I just wrote that. If you know me at all, a week ago I would have told you differently. Sometimes, I get distracted by rejection or anticipation, and I try to control my dream. And while it feels necessary for a while, it's rarely satisfying. It just kills the joy, and fades the color of the dream.

Nope, regardless of human standards or culture-based success, I am living the dream out each day, each page, each writer's conference. This week, as I meet with my fellow soul-mates, and discover more colors to add to the page, I hope to realize all the more dreaming to be done.