Last night, and early this morning, I got obsessive and started digging through my virtual photo albums, searching for the earliest pictures of my boys. It all started when I said goodnight to my oldest and hugged him, falling into a memory of the first day I cradled him in my arms...ever. How the tears came quickly! His head is probably over half the size that his whole body once was!
So, after the kids were in bed, I spent the rest of the night, until 3 in the morning, sifting through the gazillion of photos. (Although my oldest is 9 1/2, so most of his baby pictures...well, all of them, are hard copies in a photo box in my closet...a big photo box, I think we took at least 1000 his first six weeks of life)!
The stroll down memory lane was a surprising one for me. I laughed and cried at the beautiful babies becoming young boys...the rollercoaster of emotions didn't surprise me though. What surprised me most, was how in many of the pictures, I could remember what I was thinking at the time of the picture. And let me tell you, it wasn't always pretty! Whether it be low self-esteem, or steaming about someone else, or vanity, or disappointment, my thoughts were just as vivid in my mind as the 300dpi image file I stared at!
The memory is pretty blunt isn't it? At least mine doesn't like to sugarcoat the past. It brought to mind the wisdom from my good ol' trusty Bible:
Whatever is noble, right, pure, lovely...think on these things. Phil. 4:8
What great advice!
As I began to gather my favorite pictures of fabulous four year olds, terrific three year olds, and tremendous two year olds, I let the thought-memories fade away and focused on the cherished childhood memories. How quickly my children's childhood is becoming just that- memories! May my mother's memory be untainted with grumblings and disappointments, and filled with the joys of this season!
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