You're Gonna Miss This...

2006: my now four year old

Preparing for the newborn stage again, my eyes well up as I admire the young men my first three newborns are growing into. Ever since I became a mother, I told myself I would defy those who told me, I would "miss this stage, it goes by so fast"...I wanted to prove them wrong-- look back with no regrets, no missed moments, soaking up everything so fully that I would be satisfied with the end of this season as a young mother.
But now, with my oldest only eight years old, I am already finding myself missing moments of all three of my boys--

2007: my now eight year old

I miss my eight year old's muddled way with words, his innocent smile.
I miss my six year old's gentle way as a toddler...his sweet curiosity.
I miss my four year old's plump 6 month old body, settled in a sling upon my torso.

Even though I get the chance to live out all the wonderful milestones once more with my new daughter, my heart still aches for the times that have flitted into memories, wishing I could have captured each moment with each son, dwelling just a little bit longer on the seconds and not probing the minutes forward because of some trivial agenda at that time.
We have a lot of childhood and life left with our growing family. But I know now, that I will always look back and say, "I miss that stage, it went by so fast". It's inevitable and something I cannot defy, but accept and allow myself to weep when the time comes.

I recall a quote by Emerson:

“We find a delight in the beauty and happiness of children, that makes the heart too

big for the body”.

My heart is soon to be four times too big for my body, and the joy and pain that goes along with that will change me forever.

2007: my now 6 year old