Last night, God broke me. I know that it's about to happen when I feel suffocated by my handle on situations and I just want to hide. That is my state of mind before God shakes me by the shoulders and says, "Angie, you have forgotten me. And I'm gonna make you remember!"
I had forgotten Him in a way. I was nice and comfortable knowing He was there, knowing I was His, and doing things my way with His way deep in the crevices of my mind. Yep, I was running on Holy Spirit fumes, and watching the abiding meter get dangerously below empty. This is a constant cycle and I don't know why I let myself do it.
But last night, I finally poured my tears to Him and fell asleep asking for Him to guide me again... submitting myself into His hands once more.
Why do we let life get so busy, so complicated, and let our attentions completely turn away from the only One who can guide us through it with peace and grace? It's funny, logically speaking, the first thing to do is turn to Him at the beginning of it, not run full force into the craziness, let it knock us down over and over, and then crawl to the sidelines begging for help...finally.
A lesson I would expect to be effective as a one time thing, but I find myself learning it over and over.
SIGH!
Thank you, Lord, for second chances, and thirds, and fourths, and....
Oh Angie, don't be so hard on yourself. We were made to be lead astray. It's God's way of bringing us closer to Him in an odd and seemingly contradicting sort of way. Your awareness of it is key. I had something similar happen to me a few weeks ago. I found myself at my wit's end and down in the basement on my knees in a puddle of tears screaming for Him to bring me back. It wasn't long after that that I got a phone call that I had been waiting and praying for from my daughter and I immediately fell to my knees again in thankful praise. Yes, praise God for second chances and thirds and fourths...
ReplyDelete