My only Hope.

How can we find joy in our burdens? Whether it be rejection in publication or broken relationships, I seldom rejoice like the apostle Paul declares in Romans 5:

³Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

But, I have a taste of the sweetness of this practice. It is in these broken places that I have cast off the childish way of seeking human approval or consolation, and clung desperately to my God. It is each morning that I crave my time with Him, and I cast my broken heart before Him.

And it is then that I realize, not only the perseverance,

not only the character,

But the HOPE.

And while my burdens surely disappoint, my God does not. In fact, He soothes me with an intimate word, a series of nudges that are sewn together with an everlasting thread of hope. I cannot escape His specific message that finds me in every place I turn when my heart bleeds for Him alone. I no longer believe in coincidence. Because this heart salve is too personal, too effective to heal.

As I journey through this casting off of my yoke to His loving shoulders, I savor the treasure He has placed in my heart, that is in Psalm 62:

Yes, my soul, find rest in God;

    my hope comes from him.

6 

Truly he is my rock and my salvation;

    he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

7 

My salvation and my honor depend on God[c];

    he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

8 

Trust in him at all times, you people;

    pour out your hearts to him,

    for God is our refuge.

When I was younger, I doubted God's care in times of burden. I sought for human answers and human help. But as I grow older, I no longer find comfort in such superficial means. God is my only hope. 

LOVE.

I've been away from blog land for a while now. Actually, just this blog. I needed to quiet myself and get right with God so to speak. I needed to realize that my fleeting thoughts weren't good material for my blog. It takes some chewing on, some digesting, some PRAYING, to open your heart on a blog. It brings messy turmoil to open it prematurely and then try and step in sync with what you've said, when really, you're not a hundred percent committed to your words. Especially controversial ones.

It came full circle to me with the latest uproar about the Grammy's. I really could care less about what went on there. Have stopped watching Hollywood glorify themselves at award shows for years now. But when I read the lyrics to the song by Macklemore (yeah, just now...I'm really out of the loop), I am deeply saddened. Unfortunately, it sounds like hateful Christianity is what he's been exposed to. His story-in-rap is a symptom of the broken human condition...and I am not just talking about non-believers.

So many Christians, (including me), have spit out their thoughts and ideas prematurely, without chewing on them, digesting them, and most of all PRAYING...so much so, that believers in the greatest LOVE this world has ever seen, are looked upon as the Haters this world feels free to discriminate against.

Those who hate stereotypes in turn, stereotype us. While it is wrong, I see that there are Christians out there that make the temptation of stereotyping hard to resist.

How can that be?

How can a doctrine like the Gospel, centered on LOVE, become so distorted as to blind the blind with Hate? Remember, Christ's ministry? Did He shout from the roof-tops the sin of the people, or did he love the sinner, heal them, and ask them to go and sin no more? We are called to LOVE. The healing and imposed conviction is not our right--only God's.

It shouldn't be surprising. There's an Enemy out there who is the Great Deceiver. And He doesn't just deceive the lost, but the children of God. How appropriate that his biggest attack is on LOVE?

Persecution is inevitable. But let's not ask for it by flippant words and giving into prideful emotions causing us to force our doctrine on those who don't even believe in our God. Let's LOVE, build relationship, seek trust and worthiness to share our hearts with the non-believer. I would say that is the supple ground for God's supernatural power to heal and save.

It's time we as believers fall to our knees before we speak, before we type, before we act. The name of true LOVE is at stake.

After all, it is Christ's greatest commandment:

To Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and soul. AND, to Love your neighbor As yourself.

Let's stop showing the world what we are against, but show them Who we are FOR...God is Love...pure, holy, right, and true.

That's the LOVE worth celebrating!

Find Your Hope

If you have no hope, find it for good. A man, who presidents, leaders, nations have held in high esteem over the years, has a message for you on his 95th birthday:

TGIF: Shopping SPREE! Operation Christmas Child

Operation Christmas Child 2011

One of our most treasured traditions is coming up this weekend: Our annual shopping trip for Operation Christmas Child!

We've done this since my oldest was toddling around. It is always rewarding, even if it takes a little bit of growing pain to get through it. Sometimes we have whining at the store...well, most times...because shopping for someone else with such abandon could be considered shock to children who are unfortunately immersed in a culture of, "that's mine", and "gimme, gimme!" But, whether it's in the middle of filling a shopping cart with trinkets, toothpaste, and toy cars, or sorting through the loot to pack each "shoe box" with great love for a child across the world, my kids never fail to discover the satisfaction and joy in giving Christmas away through Operation Christmas Child.

How blessed we are to live in this day where media can inspire us with pictures of those in need of our good fortune, that missionaries can bless children in every culture, and that we are able to touch a life across thousands of miles, one that we may only meet in Heaven one day!

National Collection Week is November 18th-25th! Click here to find out more, including a drop-off location near you! 

A Brimming Heart vs. A Bulging Hamper

It's cold and rainy today. I've fixed breakfast for four children, sent one child to the middle school, two children to the elementary school, played with toys with the two year old, taught her A-B-C, sang songs, did some laundry, got dressed, ate lunch with my husband, and checked email, Facebook, blogs.

During all this, I've searched my heart of the bad until I seem to scrape its edges like cleaning out the inside of an egg worrying that the scouring will cause a break.
What happens when I clean it out, purge, sort through to find anything that needs fixing, and I am left with nothing but a hairline crack because I try too hard?
I've done a lot of soul-searching these past months. I've discovered who I was, who I am, and who I want to become. I've dedicated and rededicated myself as a mother, wife, friend, and writer.
And yet, nothing looks different on days like today.
Not in the middle of a cold and rainy day, when all that waits is more laundry, restless dogs, and a house that could use a good scrubbing.
All things I don't really want to deal with. Yet, things that need tending to.

But that hairline crack reminds me of the journey to a brighter future. Reminds me that there is more healing to do and I haven't arrived yet. No matter how much I re-stuff my heart with dreams and hopes, and desires to do amazing things, I am still on an imperfect journey with no quick fix for God's good timing.

What do I do with the day's monotony that appears more as quick sand than a solid path along this journey?

Perhaps I've adopted the lens of this culture. The glare burning success, independence, greed into my very soul. Perhaps my heart, no matter how much I clean it out, has taken the shape of prosperity and cannot handle the fact that the only thing that will prosper today is my bulging hamper.

Or...

Maybe...

There's something around the corner. Maybe these are birth pains to bring about something greater...or even something dreadful. When I think of it that way, I find the ability to be thankful in the monotony...for the boredom (I cringe as I hate that word)! When I have my eyes set above, knowing there is Someone mighty in control of what is ahead, then I find peace in the cold and rainy, dreary and dragging day.

It is a lie to think my heart is shaped like the idols of the world. I know better. The only prosperity mold for my heart is an everlasting one.

Ugh. It is so hard sometimes. And yet, it really is not that difficult. Because of all the millions of circumstances out there, I am blessed by mine even at this moment.

In the dreary, I can pray for those hurting, those sick, and those dying. And I don't just want to mutter, I want to call upon His Mighty Power to comfort and heal. Can this day be considered dreary at all?

In the rain, I can sing and dance with my little girl, even if it doesn't move my dream forward, even if it doesn't fill the dryer. But what better accompaniment to the rain?

Focusing on these things doesn't mean my dreams will be forgotten. They still rest in my heart ready to sprout by the sunshine of God's perfect timing. Focusing on these things doesn't mean I am ignoring the next dose of medicine needed to heal. Actually, couldn't these things bring about a great healing for my restlessness and doubt?

Wow. I thought pouring my heart out to my husband at lunch would help clear my mind and give me a chance to start fresh the rest of the day. Guess my heart wasn't done purging. As usual, writing is a salve, and I pray, that the hairline crack diminishes quickly.