Friday, January 7, 2011

Brotherly love?

Some days, I sit and smile as I listen to my boys playing their imaginary games and getting along like best friends. But then there are days like yesterday, when I see the ugliness of unprovoked meanness. Maybe it's because I am the oldest child, I never experienced the harsh "shunning" of an older sibling, but my 6 year old takes A LOT of my older son acting annoyed with him, even when my 6 year old is just being a friend to him! makes me so angry!
And yesterday topped it off when my oldest's friend was at the house, and my 6 year old told him with great enthusiasm what he got for Christmas. The friend just shrugged his shoulders and blew him off like he could care less. Is that an 8/9 year old boy attitude thing?
If it is, I am not going to sit back and let it ride out. This is a perfect opportunity to chisel my oldest's character, and although I know the process is going to be painful, hopefully he will thank me some day. There is no excuse to treat anyone less than human, right? My son treats our dog better than his younger brothers at times!
It doesn't help my nerves that my 6 year old's strongest quality is his ability to put others ahead of himself. He has often given up a toy to let someone else have it, given his whole allowance to a Salvation Army bucket, and most of all, adores his older brother and rejoices with him when he rejoices! Last night, he got so excited for my oldest that I finally downloaded some music on his new ipod touch. My 6 year old was more excited for him than he was! Geez, twist my heart even more!
Now, my oldest is not without great qualities...he also has a big heart, but he focuses it less on his brother and more on everyone else.
I constantly tell him that one day he will regret not having a good relationship with his brother...heck, my sisters and I just started getting along well into our adult life.
 But most of all, I have to remember to pray specifically for the boys' friendship.
In our family, one of our values is, "I am third"- God, others, self...It's been easy to show this to the boys in broad terms during the holidays, but now we need to hone in on our family core...God help us!

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