Monday, July 12, 2010

Unfriendly Insecurity

If you need one word to describe a chronic condition I have faced all of my adult life, it's INSECURITY. This has been a greedy 'friend' of mine, taking away joy and contentment. Only today, I realized how artificial it's comfort is, and of course, I found the words in my morning study from Beth Moore. Like I have mentioned before, I am restudying her Stepping Up study. She equates life-long insecurity as a "tremor in your soul, that is impossible to naturally still." Please continue to read my heart BETH! Wow!
I am constantly entrapped by it, and it is helpful to know that I can't just talk myself out of it. It's a condition that only the spiritual realm can cure. Only the transfer of failing security in myself to knowing I am fully secure in Christ, will help me keep that unwanted companion at bay.
So many times do I reflect on my blessings to remind me of security. God provided those blessings, so how can my focus be taken off of Him so easily? Beth talks about trusting in God for who He is, not for what He does. She boldly (and wisely) states "We can grow secure in the favor God has shown us, but God's favor and His person are not synonymous."
How many times have I trusted in the blessing and not the God? And then when my boat is rocked a bit, and the blessing isn't enough to maintain my security, I fall into a pitiful mess of self-doubt? From now on, I will thank God for my blessings, but trust only Him to my security. Just like Beth professed, I will continually have this struggle I am sure, but at least now light has been shed on that  insecurity, and I will know Who to turn to when it tries it's greedy ways again.

2 comments:

  1. Yes. That evil insecurity beast preys on me, too. Thanks for being authentic in this post, Ang!

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  2. I think that it is human nature to have this insecurity and it comes out in different ways in people. Some become shy, others nervous, and some over confident. Whatever it may be, we all have these insecurities. You can find some comfort in knowing that you are not alone! It is something we all have to find our own way of dealing with. But please now that you are not alone Supamom! I hope you have a great day!

    Mama Hen

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