If you need one word to describe a chronic condition I have faced all of my adult life, it's INSECURITY. This has been a greedy 'friend' of mine, taking away joy and contentment. Only today, I realized how artificial it's comfort is, and of course, I found the words in my morning study from Beth Moore. Like I have mentioned before, I am restudying her Stepping Up study. She equates life-long insecurity as a "tremor in your soul, that is impossible to naturally still." Please continue to read my heart BETH! Wow!
I am constantly entrapped by it, and it is helpful to know that I can't just talk myself out of it. It's a condition that only the spiritual realm can cure. Only the transfer of failing security in myself to knowing I am fully secure in Christ, will help me keep that unwanted companion at bay.
So many times do I reflect on my blessings to remind me of security. God provided those blessings, so how can my focus be taken off of Him so easily? Beth talks about trusting in God for who He is, not for what He does. She boldly (and wisely) states "We can grow secure in the favor God has shown us, but God's favor and His person are not synonymous."
How many times have I trusted in the blessing and not the God? And then when my boat is rocked a bit, and the blessing isn't enough to maintain my security, I fall into a pitiful mess of self-doubt? From now on, I will thank God for my blessings, but trust only Him to my security. Just like Beth professed, I will continually have this struggle I am sure, but at least now light has been shed on that insecurity, and I will know Who to turn to when it tries it's greedy ways again.