Today I realized that the gift I knew God gave me--writing--is one of my greatest avenues of joy. Not that I didn't know I received joy from it before, but while I've been on a short writing break, I have felt as though I am floating between contentment and agitation. I thought I've just been in a funk, but it hit me today that the only thing that's changed these past couple of weeks, is my scheduled writing time has become catch up on the house time. And let's face it, writing is so much more satisfying than housework...and, it's a lot easier to find God in writing characters who seek Him, than it is to find God in scrubbing the kitchen sink for the fifth time in a week.
So, I am going to write. Again. A sixth novel.
Writing is more than a creative outlet. It anchors my joy and opens my heart up to God's gift to me.
Why would I hinder it?
Friday, November 16, 2012
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
To Rest
The past couple of weeks, I have been stirred to rest. Kinda funny-oxymoronish way to put it. But really, I have felt overloaded with social media, technology, tasks, thoughts, everything that fills my brain full and gives no room for peace.
I just want rest.
I crave it.
I want to find God in it.
And what better time to do it than when the world tells you not to--during this onset of holiday after holiday, material-asking, desiring, focusing?
Gonna try. Gonna treasure rest as much as I treasure accomplishment. So if I seem absent, if I don't answer when I should, it's because I've stepped away from the overflow and tapped into the gift God has given me: rest.
I just want rest.
I crave it.
I want to find God in it.
And what better time to do it than when the world tells you not to--during this onset of holiday after holiday, material-asking, desiring, focusing?
Gonna try. Gonna treasure rest as much as I treasure accomplishment. So if I seem absent, if I don't answer when I should, it's because I've stepped away from the overflow and tapped into the gift God has given me: rest.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
The Media Never Fails...
..to disappoint.
So I followed the news for more than a few minutes for the first time in months...maybe years. It used to be a terrible obsession with me--one that would determine my contentment, joy, and hope for a future.
And I realized tonight, after watching it, that it hasn't changed at all...it's just gotten worse.
A psychiatrist spoke on the election on the news channel I flipped to, and after he was done ranting, he said he would offer prescriptions to anyone who needed them since he was so negative on the election. Sad. SAD. SAD!! But, it was true...we the people probably heard his words and it chipped at our contentment a bit.
How do we let talking heads affect us so? The White House isn't going to determine our demise. But I can't be so confident in saying the media isn't.
I am glad this night is over. Not because the guy I wanted to win won, or the guy I didn't want to win did. Just because I can stand firm in my choice to keep away from the media that fills our heads with fear and lies. Yes, I still continue to keep up with the headlines, but that's it. I have more important people to listen to, more uplifting things to read. Here's a start:
"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philippians 4:8
So I followed the news for more than a few minutes for the first time in months...maybe years. It used to be a terrible obsession with me--one that would determine my contentment, joy, and hope for a future.
And I realized tonight, after watching it, that it hasn't changed at all...it's just gotten worse.
A psychiatrist spoke on the election on the news channel I flipped to, and after he was done ranting, he said he would offer prescriptions to anyone who needed them since he was so negative on the election. Sad. SAD. SAD!! But, it was true...we the people probably heard his words and it chipped at our contentment a bit.
How do we let talking heads affect us so? The White House isn't going to determine our demise. But I can't be so confident in saying the media isn't.
I am glad this night is over. Not because the guy I wanted to win won, or the guy I didn't want to win did. Just because I can stand firm in my choice to keep away from the media that fills our heads with fear and lies. Yes, I still continue to keep up with the headlines, but that's it. I have more important people to listen to, more uplifting things to read. Here's a start:
"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philippians 4:8
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Dream Whispers
Sometimes when I am dreaming at night, I find myself in a weird situation and I am able to "will" myself into making the situation super cool...like flying, or using just my eyes to move stuff. Basically, I have the chance to take my muddled, brain-dump dream, and really spice it up into something worth investing my sleep into.
That's what last month's ACFW conference was for me. I was able to take my countless hours of writing (I'd prefer to call it something much more than a brain-dump :) ) and spice it up, then present it to agents and editors for a chance at a dreamy outcome.
After returning home and sending out my requested submissions, it was so easy to rub my eyes and quickly forget the excitement and encouragement, just like my night-time dreams fade so quickly with my waking hours.
The details of last night's dream seep from my memory as the day tick tock's away, like the swelling pursuit of my dream deflates as time passes with silence and waiting. I need the reminder, and God grants me the assurance that the dream is still alive.
Twice since conference, I have entered into a small group environment with two different groups of people, but the topic of discussion was the same... Dreams. I didn't choose the topic. It was already in place by others.You may say it's coincidence, but I choose to believe otherwise. I believe it was a divinely appointed topic. And while it undoubtedly spoke to others, it was a personal whisper to me by Someone who gave me my dream in the first place, and Who knows how quickly I can forget His hand in it.
God created community to build us up and provide accountability. Both are things I desperately need at times like this. I may be in a season of quiet, a test of patience, but God doesn't let me drift too far away from the dream that He planted in my heart in the first place. Through group discussion, He gave me a chance to showcase my dream to others, to recall what the dream is about, and re-align it with His will if I had perverted it into personal striving. With the assurance of other believers in the small group setting, God reminded me that my dream is worth hanging on too, no matter how anxious I get as time passes.
If I can just remember that He is faithful in my pursuit, and that He'll continue to meet me on the path ahead, the only thing I should really ask is--not when or how--but what?
That's what last month's ACFW conference was for me. I was able to take my countless hours of writing (I'd prefer to call it something much more than a brain-dump :) ) and spice it up, then present it to agents and editors for a chance at a dreamy outcome.
After returning home and sending out my requested submissions, it was so easy to rub my eyes and quickly forget the excitement and encouragement, just like my night-time dreams fade so quickly with my waking hours.
The details of last night's dream seep from my memory as the day tick tock's away, like the swelling pursuit of my dream deflates as time passes with silence and waiting. I need the reminder, and God grants me the assurance that the dream is still alive.
Twice since conference, I have entered into a small group environment with two different groups of people, but the topic of discussion was the same... Dreams. I didn't choose the topic. It was already in place by others.You may say it's coincidence, but I choose to believe otherwise. I believe it was a divinely appointed topic. And while it undoubtedly spoke to others, it was a personal whisper to me by Someone who gave me my dream in the first place, and Who knows how quickly I can forget His hand in it.
God created community to build us up and provide accountability. Both are things I desperately need at times like this. I may be in a season of quiet, a test of patience, but God doesn't let me drift too far away from the dream that He planted in my heart in the first place. Through group discussion, He gave me a chance to showcase my dream to others, to recall what the dream is about, and re-align it with His will if I had perverted it into personal striving. With the assurance of other believers in the small group setting, God reminded me that my dream is worth hanging on too, no matter how anxious I get as time passes.
If I can just remember that He is faithful in my pursuit, and that He'll continue to meet me on the path ahead, the only thing I should really ask is--not when or how--but what?
What, Lord, do you have next for me? I am excited to see!
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
My Personalized Signs and Wonders
"Unless you people see signs and wonders, you simply will not believe."John 4:48
Imagine Jesus, the Savior of the world, standing in front of you and saying this. I can almost see and hear Him now. He probably laughed and threw His hands up in the air, shook His head, and said it in a baffled tone.
But you know what? However He said it, He cared enough for those people to steer His next steps away from just telling them, to SHOWING them in mighty signs of healing. Yep. He went ahead and knew that they were dust and pushed them along with every effort to have them believe, even doing so on their terms.
He loved them that much.
This morning, I stepped away from the belief in my heart that God has amazing things in store for me, and found myself in good company with the Galileans who Jesus spoke to in the above verse. I simply threw a fit because I haven't seen any sure favor yet for my writing. Or to be completely honest, I haven't seen what I have defined to be that ultimate assurance.
The cool thing is, God knows what specific signs and wonders I need to believe His will for my writing. And, as I look back, I see His little blessings along the way. Sure, they don't look like the same caliber of blessings that others around me have (in my flawed sight), but He knows what I need better than I do. Each small blessing has served its purpose in prodding me to take the next step, either by sending off that proposal, or just thanking God for the gift He's given me.
Why do I beg for MORE signs and wonders to believe in Him?
And why is He so faithful in providing them, when I constantly fall away and forget all He's done?
Throughout the Bible, we see God's people faithfully walking one moment, then royally messing up then next. We see the Israelites freed from slavery by God's mighty hand, and then we see them throwing fits because God didn't do it their way. It's humbling to know that I am no better than them, even when I have the story right in front of me to learn from!
But that's how we humans are, right? Keeping our attention on each step we take for ourselves, instead of looking up and waiting for God to work signs and wonders at His own pace.
Thank you, Lord, for revealing where I am in this vicious cycle of enjoying your blessings, then straying from you, then finding you are still with me again. Please let me hang with You HERE for a while, and protect my heart from looking down again!
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