When I became a young adult, I heard mention of the glass ceiling, but I didn't really pay much attention. After I graduated from college, I got five job offers with reputable firms. I worked with men and women alike. Sometimes, I heard negative comments about women, and maybe I wasn't making as much as the guy in the next cubicle...I can't really be sure because I never asked. But, I never felt "less".
I will admit, the first time I found myself exploring the gender-superiority battle was in Bible studies. Other women and I would wade in and out of passages about submission, women as leaders in church, and the examples of Biblical characters. One cannot go very far into these ideas without finding out that there really is a deeper level of truth--there really is this amazing God who created us EQUAL. Different, but equal. I'll not get into that right now...it deals with original language, and history, and interpretation. If you want, explore it. You'll be surprised at the beauty of equality in mankind.
When I stepped into motherhood, and became a mama of three small boys, I never thought of them as being superior to my friends' little girls. I assumed they were on the same track of opportunities and successes as every other little boy AND girl. But then...I had my daughter. And, my eyes, and ears, and heart were tripped up by the gender-sided comments about "that's for girls", and "pink is a girl color," and, "stop being a girl". As my daughter grows, and my sons become young men, the comments have evolved to, "girls rule, boys drool," and "girls are better than boys," and "girl power".
I have three sons with amazing potential to do great things. I have a daughter with amazing potential to do great things. And they are being raised against a backdrop of culture that shouts, "GENDER EQUALITY"...which I totally agree with. I raise my sons to know their sister can achieve just as much, can work just as hard, and is to be respected and honored just like anyone else.
Every once in a while, though...the scales tip, and my sons begin to slide down, my heart begins to quicken, and my language gets muddled on my tongue and I wonder whose identity I need to protect most?
The other day, I walked into Target and there was an end cap with a sign doting,
"The Future is Female."
Huh?
How is that for Gender Equality?
Um...yeah, it's not. And, my eyes are being opened more and more each day to this growing idea. I have a son who tells me that girls at his school respond to his comment, "Ladies first," with, "Don't assume my gender" (no joke), and I have a son who comes to me perplexed because girls are saying that they are "better than me because I am a boy."
Of course, these are just kids being kids. OR are they?
Have we overcorrected as a culture striving for equality?
I get it. I get the invigorating ability to finally feel unbound by old sentiments and break free of some stifling cultural norms. Women have so much to offer. We've always had so much to offer, and the gender has been ignored and abused and oppressed century after century...it is about time we stood up and said:
NO MORE.
We need to level the playing field. But, I don't feel like it's level.
Who are we marginalizing in our wake? Why does it have to be girls vs. boys? I promise you, my sons aren't the chauvinists who suppressed women in all the centuries before. I promise you that because my husband is male and my sons are male, and my father is male, they don't expect girls to "run like a girl," to "dress in pink," to "waste a career on homemaking"...or whatever old sentiments are being slashed to shreds by "girl power" (even though I align with all three of those sentiments without hesitation, and without thinking I am "less" LOL. But my little girl...she runs fast, and hard, dresses in pink, red, blue, and yellow...and LOVES playing house, and school, and spies, and whatever else her heart desires in the moment.)
My boys try to understand the world just as much as the girl...and all the kids who are misunderstanding what gender equality means. And because of this false interpretation, my boys are being told they are less...that the "future is female"...that because of centuries of chauvinists it's "about time that girls are dominant." Huh? That is not okay. That is two wrongs not equaling a right. It is messed up and broken and infuriating to this EQUAL RIGHTS advocate--this EDUCATED mama who has researched and understands the sickness of oppression and discrimination--this 21st century parent who understands the BEAUTY OF GENDER differences, and views the boy and the girl as two creations making a whole unifying society. Different, equal, and purposefully made alongside each other...to pave a glorious future together. NOT to edge each other out.
Equality will never happen if one side is trying to prove itself more than the other. Raising boys and a girl, I could never justify the worth of one child over the other. I would never assign value to a human being based on stature, skin color, or culture. Why would I expect the value of my child to be considered worth more based on gender? Especially after all we've fought for to prove EQUALITY RULES.
So...just...why?
