It took many years for me to realize I had my son on this pedestal. That I had just assumed as a parent following all the good advice, godly people, and great examples out there that my son would be molded into the exact image I imagined.
And if I peer in his reflection of me, it shows that I, indeed, had myself as a parent on a pedestal as well.
I remember a long time ago, a friend saying that she felt God telling her to not hold her children so closely because she was afraid of the fall if they were taken away.
I totally get that. Because I am tumbling, tumbling from that high place I had put myself on long ago, as I witness the flaws and humanness of my children.
How dare they? How dare they paint me a hypocrite? It's not fair. My intentions were good.
The further I walk this journey, the more I realize the illusion life has painted around us. It goes to show that we need Jesus more and more...because no matter the wisdom or advice a good person exudes, the ears are flawed, the hearts are wayward, and another's journey can only be carved by the One who made it.
My strive for perfection only knocked me down in the end. All I have is Love and Grace to keep me going...and hopefully, it will be contagious for my children's sake!