Wednesday, August 12, 2015
What I Want To Say To My Son
I want to say:
You aren't into girls yet. Really. You think you are because of the buzz around you...because of the friends talking about break ups and crushes and hotties. But that's not you. That doesn't define you, no matter how much you want it to.
Yeah, it's "cool" to be "taken". It's a confidence booster to have a girl "commit" herself to you. But that's no reason to follow the crowd.
Actually, that's a red flag there. That's you seeking affirmation in the wrong place. That's you putting your worth in the hands of another and in the perceptions of others.
The thing is, I have always wanted to protect your heart. I wanted something for you that was better than I received at your age. When I was your age, I desperately avoided looking gullible and in-the-dark. I was eager to listen to anyone and everyone to understand the ways of the world out there. And I got most of my information outside of my home, from the mouths of other kids. It was just how I thought I would learn things. My parents were not my first resource. They were usually a last resort.
I so wanted something different for you. You were raised in a home with two parents who tried their best to balance appropriateness with honesty. We didn't want you to learn things faster than you should, but we didn't want to keep you in a bubble. The older we get, we realize that honesty is the best policy.
But we can't sit on your shoulder. We can't be there for you to answer those questions you have when your friends mention things you don't understand. We can't guard your heart for you.
Only you can do that.
Only you can choose the path of a conversation, and the need-to-know. It's sooo hard. You are curious. And that's okay. But just remember, once you hear or see something, you can't erase it. It's in your mind...and it can root in your heart if you focus on it too much. It can distort your view of yourself and the world around you.
It's okay to stand tall and walk away. Even from that friend. If they're your true friend, they'll respect you in that. It's okay to back off of this "relationship" thing. Not in a mean way, not in a hurtful way, just in a personal decision to back your heart away, and remember who you are truly. In the eyes of your mom, your dad, and your Creator. You are a confident, responsible, insanely smart, loyal friend, growing Christian, super athlete, firstborn, brother...BIG brother...and most of all, a DIFFERENCE MAKER.
Or, you can be.
If you act on it. Yes. You can make a difference in this world, one that matters. Don't let the buzz, the friends, and the world distract you from your calling to greatness.
Son, remember who you are, and stay true to yourself. No pressure here, no condemnation. Just love.
That's what I would say. Should I?