Quench my Hopelessness

Photo by Kejadlen (www.flickr.com/photos/kejadlen/222615074/)

Life goes along great, and then, as if I was in some sort of state of disillusion, trials present themselves and my corner of the world begins to crumble.

Even if the struggles are mild, insignificant once I've paid attention and corrected my heart (ahem, my last post), they are trials just the same, refinement of my heart by a sharp sheath dragging away the muck.

I sit here, feeding my children lunch, my elbows tingly, my stomach flipping along with my heart, as I tiptoe around hopelessness in broken friendships, poor word choices, and wrong intentions. The feeling is familiar. It always creeps into my heart and severs my peace of mind. It places its greedy hands over my eyes and has me reaching, grasping for some release from the dire condition.

Photo by Christopher Craig (www.flickr.com/photos/kriztofor/3724503239/)

Only until I recognize this feeling of hopelessness as my soul's thirst for the Holy Spirit, do I turn and examine my heart.

My soul is quenched with the Living Water, the soft God-whispers in my heart that can only be heard when I listen. If anyone tells you it is impossible to have an intimate relationship with God, I beg you to search for yourself. It is very, very possible. It is more real than anything else. It is absolutely necessary for me.

Why does it take so much turmoil to get to the next step in the journey, to quench the thirst, to discover the next triumph in this walk of faith? I learn through my heart's sadness, my spirit's discontent. And then I know that God allows these things to happen because it's one of the only ways He can get my attention. And once He has it, the Holy Spirit moves in a mighty way.

Always.

A vicious cycle of Peace to Comfort to Complacency to Misery to Submission to Peace again. Perhaps it is a good thing that my heart can be forgetful at times. It leaves such ample ground for God to grow my faith.