Thursday, June 30, 2011

My Dream Is Just Over There

I feel like I am trying to run, but there is a tidal wave against me...My mental capacity is flooded with the exhaustion of a day filled with mothering, refereeing, driving, grocery shopping, handling mind-numbing arguments and boxing matches. All I really want to do right now, is sleep--which is very unusual for me because I hate sleeping.
 I don't have the ability to progress in my novel, which is what I have set this time to do...It seems my night time writing is being pushed aside, and my goal of finishing this up by next week, is slowly fading away no matter how much I strive. I am trying to reach my dream, but the obstacle of time and energy is in my way. And I am just sick about it...because I have never let something slip away so easily. But as much as I saw God's hand guiding me in this new craft of mine, I feel like something is trying to push me down.
Is it really my calling? Or is it my desperate attempt to fill myself up with something besides parenting styles and changing diapers? Maybe a break is due? But I love writing so much, and I absolutely love the story I want to tell. How do we know when the dream is tangible or beyond reach?

1 comment:

  1. Oh goodness, my feed reader said your title was, "My dream is just over" and I felt so terrible for you. Who knew the word "there" holds so much hope!

    I don't think it's a calling for me at all, but something I want to do and through it glorify the Lord.

    But that being said, it's a full-time job. Kids are a full-time job too. I've taken a break without any deadline to get back to it twice now. Once after losing a baby and once when a history fact messed up my plot and I got aggravated with the whole writing thing--plus I was exhausted. I came back both times when I felt like coming back in less than 2 months and I'll tell you, I was in a better frame of mind to continue.