Tuesday, May 17, 2011

A Little Boy's Tears

My little boy broke my heart today...several times. And it wasn't something he did to me. He broke my heart by revealing how broken his own heart was, over and over.
Yesterday was his last day of preschool. His class of seven have become such good friends over the past months. And, you can't pull one over my four year old...he knew the last day of school meant bye bye friends!

So as he anticipated his "graduation" this evening, he would all of a sudden get really quiet and say, "Mom, I want stay with my class." and "I miss my teacher..." and "I don't want my friends to go to a different school" (some are going to kindergarten).
 And then...
                ...the worst part...
                                         ...big ol' crocodile tears poured down his face.
 They poured down as we got ready to go to graduation, they poured down as we walked through the parking lot to graduation, and then he got choked up walking down the hall to his class. And at the end, as he looked around his classroom, he broke down again!!!

And the normally happy, silly boy showed up during the songs, the ceremony...but then when he came and sat with us to watch the class DVD, he leaned into me, buried his face in my shirt, and mumbled, "I don't want to leave my class" and then a sob caught in his throat! He cried through the whole DVD.

My heart is in tiny little pieces in the pit of my stomach right now!

He even cried most of the way home, and then at bedtime.

Dramatic? Well, yes...but from the mouth and heart of a mostly happy four year old, it was just down right SAD.

I went to ten different schools growing up, and I remember the sadness I felt when I left my best friends my 6th grade year, and then my close buddies at my college graduation--just an overwhelming swell of resisting the inevitable goodbyes. I saw myself in my little boy today...how can a four year old handle all that emotion?? UGH!

I finally got him to sleep by agreeing to have all his friends over for a playdate. Let's hope they can come! I know it's part of life and he'll probably be over it in a few days...well, a few weeks...but it's given me a deeper peek into his heart and character. He may not look anything like me, but he is as emotionally invested in his peeps as his mama, and he doesn't like change either!


  1. Poor Thomas! I hope his friends can come for a playdate and that the fun of summer adventures helps his heart heal! ((hugs))

  2. Precious precious heart. Life is so tough. My heart aches reading this. Thomas is a good friend, just like his mama.