Wednesday, October 6, 2010

My Not So Grand Calling

So, I want to send out a thought into the great wide open, and hope that I can make sense of the jumble in my mind without completely offending you. Having been studying the Holy Spirit in my Bible study, we inevitably ask the question...what does He want me to do? It's funny how a lot of these studies, radio programs, preachers preach to us as if we've missed our calling or we are about too if we don't shape up and tune in. They also build it up as if the Holy Spirit wants us all to take an uncomfortable plunge into a monumental task, a most admirable calling--one for the books.
What if...just WHAT IF...the Holy Spirit wants some of us to live life in obedience, in an American neighborhood, being a light to those around us, giving where God calls, and raising our children to be God fearing contributors to a future society.....and THAT'S IT! Would we have missed a calling to adopt a downtrodden child, or to save a village in Africa? Would we be less worthy because we chose to invest our time and energy in our homes instead of in the latest Christian advocate movement?
How much I have struggled with this because my heart BLEEDS for orphans, it BEATS loudly for Christian advocates, it ACHES for Africa. But maybe, just maybe, my prayers are my calling?
You may think I am taking the easy way out...just prayer. But SERIOUSLY, not every person can be called to the next popular mission proposed by the Church...can they? And really, how do you know it's really your calling, when EVERYONE is choosing one of these paths lately??
It has been a source of guilt for me. People see me as populating my own planet--having my fourth biological child on the way--not wanting to share my love with those who already reside here and need a home. Believe it or not, adoption has always been something I assumed I would do. But we have focused on raising our own children against the grain, in this world, not of it, with them knowing the God of the universe, and being men who will lead our city and nation towards a Christ-loving society. Isn't that something grand? And I know that my husband and I are capable of equipping children for this great own four children.
Who knows, maybe adoption is still a whisper of the Spirit, and one day we will hear it loud and clear. But for now, I will continue seeking the Spirit, and not putting all this pressure on my heart to decipher what I am suppose to do according to the Spirit-filled tasks listed out by those who have a more admirable calling than mine.


  1. I think it's interesting how God writes each of our stories. I felt that adoption call from God even before our biological children were born. Two babies and 4 miscarriages later, we are 3 - 4 weeks out from meeting our first foster child. Either way you build your family, we are called to raise our children to be in the world, not of it, you are right! I am so excited to watch your story unfold! I want to college with Alisa and found your blog through her!

  2. Hi Pipsylou! Thanks for your comment. I changed my entry a bit, because it sounded like someone can't raise non-biological children the same way...and I totally didn't mean that! That is wonderful that you are entering the foster system...I know how much that is a leap of faith! Thanks for following!

  3. I am in total agreement with you. God gives us all specific callings--and none is more or less important than another. Some He calls to adopt, some He calls to missions, some He calls to stay home and influence those we come into contact with by example. Stay strong in His calling for you...and remember, sometimes callings change. Sometimes they are only for a season. :)

  4. What if your sons someday as Godly men, men that we need in our society are given the chance to adopt and take that dream and breath life into it? What if your fiction is the jolt someone needs?

    I know what you mean, surely someone else out there can use me to a great degree. But if this is where God has put you, He will give you the grace and fortitude to take each day at a time and know that you are making a difference in the greatest lives... your sons.

    Great rant by the way. :)

  5. I like your rant. Actually goes along with something my pastor's wife shared with me because I struggle with the guilt that as a homeschool mom I don't always have time for these other sorts of outreach. She shared with me the outreach in my own family. So often we discount this too much (at least I do at times). Awesome post, Ang!

  6. Gosh I have the same thoughts at time when thinking about having a 3rd and whether we should adopt. Good thoughts. Really enjoy your blog. Found you on Mama's Little Nestwork :-) ~Kimberly