To have that power. The power of the Holy, Almighty God, residing in me. And I do.
But when do I allow it to flourish...really?
Forgotten God by Francis Chan has challenged me to kick it up a notch. I have seasons of harvest and seasons of drought...and sometimes, just seasons of letting the weeds sprout up around me and being too lazy to do anything about them. Only when they are suffocating me, do I realize I need to pull them, and often by that point, my senses are dulled.
It's so easy to cling to jealousy, gossip, hate, and anger...but so difficult to reach past the temptation of these and rather grasp faithfulness, mercy, love and peace. Sometimes I get in the mood to set myself down and fester, fester, fester. But just today, during my Bible study, it reminded me that I don't just stunt my spiritual growth when I do this, I grieve the Holy Spirit. My bad attitude saddens the God of the universe who gave me the privilege to be His sanctuary. Wow. Can we say uncomfortable in my own skin?
That's what I need to be though, uncomfortable. When I get too comfortable, I ignore the growing mess threatening to squelch my progress on the road of Faith.
Uncomfortable for me, looks like: a strained friendship where I want to point fingers and turn my back...but instead, I have the choice to love unconditionally, and just be available. Or, having a situation come up at the boys' school, and I want to blow it up in my mind and consider it a deal breaker, but instead, taking some time to pray and think about it- using patience- and then confront in kindness. Or, feeling over-stressed and drained from something I was once passionate about, and wanting to give up. But instead, persevering through, and proactively tackling the kinks to knock out exactly what the enemy desires.
I guess being uncomfortable for me, really is that fork in the road where I have to choose the high, narrow road or the low, fleshy path that leads only to miserable destruction. It's amazing that once I believed in Christ, how quickly He wanted to help me by bestowing His Spirit upon me, but it's so frustrating to know how long it takes for me to get it, and live accordingly.