Sometimes ignorance is bliss. I take for granted the sheer joy of cruising along in a friendship with no idea that something I did or said was offensive. It's nice to think everything is okey dokey...for a while. But then, when I realize something is really wrong I kick and scream wondering why the heck I just found out now! You just can't have the best of both worlds. :(
I am a fixer. I find out the problem and you usually won't see me hesitate. I jump right in to work things out. The other day, I realized even after the solution was activated and successful, I turned into my own enemy. I began to switch roles with the person and found my issues to mirror what we had just worked out. I know this may seem vague.
Maybe this will help: I learned that I am a copy cat, and there are rarely any times in life with this is an admirable quality. I am very aware to not copy a friend's idea or venture...unless I give that person some sort of credit. But what I do copy, is reactions and emotions- unintentionally of course. Once I witness a reaction to a situation, it isn't long before I find myself copying that same reaction somewhere down the line! It's just like when a non-mother criticizes a mother's parenting...give that non-mother the miracle of birth, and she will soon eat her words!
So, the only real solution to all this? Is to rise above it and realize that I am only in control of myself. Nothing I can say will really fix an issue unless I am willing to look inside myself and take credit for some part of the messiness. I need an internal mirror to gage my heart and intentions, because if I don't stop and really think about what's going on, my ignorance will unblissfully trip me up!