Wednesday, June 23, 2010


The thunder is rolling. Just an hour ago the sun was lazily seeping through the clouds. It rises early here in our part of the world. I love waking up to it streaming in around 5:15 am...I know that sounds crazy, but to think I have the opportunity to rise before my children, have quiet time and coffee, and just "be" in my cozy home, is a precious thing for sure! It only depends on my laziness or inability to go to bed before midnight the night before!
The rain's coming down hard now. I just finished up my quiet time amidst the Psalms of Ascent. This is a Beth Moore study that was pivotal in my life a couple years ago. And now, going through it again, I realize how alive and active God's word really is. It's interesting to see what I wrote a couple of years ago, in a different town, with different friends and church, and to realize where I am at now, and how things have changed- sometimes for the better, sometimes not.
The lessons from the study still apply so much to my life now. Dependence on Him in new ways, through new circumstances. How I can love on those around me authentically, knowing that arms are wide open and this place in which I am perfectly placed is according to His plan.
There is one aspect which is ironic though- the first time I took this study, I shed a thick wall between my husband and me- my whole outlook on our life together was hugely changed for the better. And now, I feel a strong spiritual attack on that very thing- our friendship is strained. Just like the rain interrupted the sunny dawn, I am being poured upon in an attempt to extinguish the inevitable growth which comes from being anchored in His Word.
Funny how there is always a brewing storm when your basking in the sunshine. Before, I would shrink back during these sunny sessions, in fear of the storm ahead...I always feared being broken and could only focus on the "breaking" part and not the "building" up part beyond it. But I have a little more foresight now. I am a little braver than before.
And the rain has stopped just now. I can ride it out. I still don't like getting wet, but now I am a bit more waterproof.

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