So someone really near and dear to me, challenged my motives for writing this blog. It wasn't an attack, or a criticism- more like food for thought and pointing out obvious similarities in other blogs or even Facebook statuses (some of which annoy me, and of which I ashamedly have taken part in when it comes to my status updates). I definitely will not be able to continue writing until I clear the air of a foul misinterpretation.
Maybe my dear friend assumed this attitude because of our ego-centric society, but I would like to say that I in no way intend for this tiny piece of virtual space to be a place to "toot my own horn", make my life seem enviable, or try and "out-do" anyone. I have simply started this blog because I enjoy to write--THAT'S IT-- and honestly, my ONLY material is from my own triumphs and struggles day in and day out.
It's so easy for anyone to hide behind cute little blurbs or sweet pictures of friends and family, but I have learned in the past few months that no one can hide forever, and eventually the heart will either be strangled with the constant expectation of approval from this world, or the mask will be ripped away leaving a pathetic naked soul.
Maybe there are those out there that like to paint a perfect picture of their lives and make everyone think they have it all together, but let me promise you, I am in NO way secure enough to even go there... although I do hope that I have matured enough spiritually, to realize the only way I am anything is when Christ is working in me, and even then, I hope that He gets the credit, not me. Because the ugly monsters of EGO and PRIDE are at constant war with every move I make and every word I say, I constantly pray that I am torn down enough to surrender them and not surrender to them.
It crossed my mind to end this blog of mine, wondering if anyone thought I was ego-centric, a show-off, or preachy...but I really don't want to give in to "what ifs" when I really do enjoy the past-time of writing and love the practice for my own books in my dreamy future. So read if you want, but don't expect me to "write to please" or write to boost my ego...I am writing to write.
It's strange - this whole virtual world thing that we're growing into. I feel like we're charting new territories as mothers (heck - my mom didn't have the Internet when she was raising us). When I was in college, a very lame version of instant messaging came out. I remember how awesome it was! We've come a long way. Having "all of our stuff" (which is actually not all of it) is still a very new idea, but I think it's a good thing if you want it to be. I love journaling/blogging about our days here in this house. The other night my husband and I read back on my blog from a couple years ago, and there were so many memories I would have forgotten if I didn't have them down! (the better AND the worse memories)
ReplyDeleteIf someone doesn't want to read about your day, your thoughts and emotions, that's their choice. I don't say that to be mean - but it's the truth, no? We all have to keep our hearts in check when writing (and reading) for the world to see. It's a great thing when done with pure hearts.
very well said Alisa! I love reading your blog Ang, because even though I can't be closer it helps me to keep up with what's going on with you! I love you!
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