My Boys, My Teens, and Me

The other night, we were watching old family videos—and when I say “videos” I am talking about the little vhs tapes that actually insert in a video camera. Video videos. My husband and I sat and laughed at the 6 yr old, 3yr old and barely 2 yr old from this strange we-know-who-you-become viewpoint. There were a few things I discovered:
👉Predictions are pointless. The 2 year old future MLB player who kept begging for Daddy to throw the “bay-ball” is now the recreational rock climber who “hates” organized sports.😂 
👉Kids Show their distinct selves early on. My boys are 3 different teens, and they were 3 different little boys. The oldest was serious. The middle was playful, and the littlest brother—well, he often did his own thing. Now, imagine all that times 11. A driven oldest, an outgoing middle, and the little brother—unique in every way.🥳
👉I have learned a lot, and I haven’t learned anything. Looking at yourself 11 years ago—it’s so cringy (as the kids say)🤦‍♀️What I saw from the now-standpoint: The joy around me, the precious present I had, and the ridiculous things that rattled me—like the 2 yr old wanting to throw the Christmas balls from the tree. I was appalled then—but now, I’m like—well, duh! Shame stabbed me as I saw the uneven attention I gave to my littles at certain moments. And even more when I snapped at a 3 year old who just couldn’t keep his hands off the next present for his little brother...like he should know better. 😩 So much worrying, acting out of laziness instead of intention, momming it the way everyone said I should. And really, those are the things that I could say about real-time me. Just bigger worries, exhaustion more than laziness, and comparing myself and my family to everyone who pretends to have it right.
👉Lesson? Yes, I can unhook those hangups with a little more knowledge, a little experience, a reminder. 🧐Eleven years from now, I wonder what I will see, what I will learn...and where I will be on the other side of the view. I am just hoping there’s a little more growth, and that I will be a little less cringy.🙃 #momblogger #momlife #authorlife #memories #momofboys #andagirl