"Whoever seeks God as a means toward desired ends will not find God. The mighty God, the maker of heaven and earth, will not be one of many treasures, not even the chief of all treasures. He will be all in all or He will be nothing. God will not be used. His mercy and grace are infinite and His patient understanding is beyond measure, but He will not aid men in their selfish striving after personal gain. He will not help men to attain ends which, when attained, usurp the place He by every right should hold in their interest and affection." - A.W. Tozer
How often do I fall into the thinking, "if I ask, He will give", when I haven't even sought His will in the matter in the first place? God is not just a genie who wants his children to be fat and happy. He's a God who wants to give to His children good things that will bring Him glory. And sometimes, it's going to hurt a little in the process. I might throw a tantrum because He's not answering my prayer, or worse, He's actually saying, "no". Just like my own child who kicks and screams because I say it's not time for the fun stuff yet...or who cries because I said "no" to that toy he really wanted. It's not that the toy is bad, but I have foresight and know how greed can destroy his heart if I gave in all the time. And I am not withholding fun from my child because I am ruthless and mean...but I know that if he just waits for the perfect moment, he'll see I've been preparing a great surprise for that special occasion.
Just our breath is sign that God loves us enough. Why do we turn against Him when He's not giving into that one thing?
Lately, I have grown weary in this publishing pursuit. I've entertained everything from I don't have what it takes to God doesn't want me to do this.
WHY???? Why do I always turn against God when things aren't going my way? How dare I, really. Tozer's quote above really resonates with me.
It's all about Him.
He is the treasure.
And He has bestowed upon me the ability to grow in relationship with Him. The Creator of the Universe wants me to know Him...intimately. Aaaah! That is so hard to understand. Obviously, so many people don't. But all other things, publishing, dieting, success, are absolutely nothing compared to a divine friendship with God Almighty.
Priscilla Shirer says it best in her study, Discerning the Voice of God, "Often we seek to know God's direction more than we seek to know God. We bypass the relationship because we would rather have answers about us. God wants to speak to you because He wants you to know Him; knowing His direction is just a by-product. God seeks to reveal truth about Himself because this knowledge will lay the firm path you can walk to fulfilling God's purpose for your life."
The thing is, when I have truly sought God's voice, a supernatural peace resides in my heart...and He doesn't fail in speaking. It is when I lean into Him for the sole purpose of listening and learning, that He meets me. It's not with a publishing contract, or a hidden secret to how I should live, it's with His whisper and His Truth.
Be still my heart and just abide. The desires of this world are nothing compared to Who wants you for His friend.