I just got back from my fourth ACFW conference. I always return from these things filled with the joy of friendship, spilling with the hope of a bright future, and worn out from the intensity of showing off my heart to perfect strangers. I told my husband that I am as tired as if I just had a baby. And it really is very close to that type of spent energy. Because, after all, my book is my baby now, as one editor pointed out in our appointment. I have labored for three years over this baby...and this past weekend was its grand entrance. I'm praising God because it was well-received.
But it's more than that. It's my proof of the Holy Spirit using His gift in me. And not because I had successful editor appointments. But the fact that, as I look back on the words that were written, I understand that writing is God's blessing and lure to worship. When I write, I worship Him. Just like when I see His work in creation my heart falls prostrate. To realize that this book of my heart truly is my worship in concrete form gives me more satisfaction than the dream of publication.
Usually, I can't take a compliment. I don't like to brag on myself. And if you are thinking that I am bragging for what I've just said, then you are right. BUT, I am bragging on God. Not for the story, not for the writing, but for the fact that He works in simple, ordinary people in extraordinary ways.
These next few months will reveal whether or not this book is meant for more eyes than mine or the few that have already read it. And, I do hope that it will find a home from which my heart can pour out onto others as the most wonderful and inspiring Robin Jones Gunn said in her Keynote speech this year at ACFW.
But what I am most excited about, is my assurance that writing is my form of worship. And doubt is only that of the enemy who writhes at the sound of my heart song. I'll write and write on. And only from the outpour of my heart. That's the least I can do for the greatest Author of all.