It's nearing the end of summer, and I feel like my daily word count...spoken, that is... has increased dramatically. What with school starting soon, ministries changing up, friendships renewing after vacay, and just life going through a growth spurt, I've decided that I am racking up the words like a three book-on-cd series. While this daytime extrovert thrives on the social time, this nighttime introvert processes it all and feels like I've spewed a jumbo ball of spaghetti. A recount of the words crisscrosses into the pros and cons, the opinions, and the inching mole hills becoming mountains. My processing becomes worrying, then my worrying becomes an anxious emotional implode. ACK!
Do you ever feel like you've just talked too much? Not in one conversation, but just in general? My mouth hurts thinking about it. And so does my heart. Because a lot of what I say isn't God honoring like it should be. A lot of what I say is the opposite of the fruits God has given us: patience, self-control, kindness, GENTLENESS, longsuffering, PEACE...etc....
A silent retreat sounds mighty nice right now. But what I realize as I am typing this, is that all this talking has brought me to something kinda ironic: My frustration with all my jabber might stem from God whispering, "Hey, I am jealous for YOU"...yes...He wants me to close my mouth for a bit...I know that, but He doesn't want me to stop talking...He wants me to talk TO Him. Because only there, is my talking really worth something. If only I can remind myself of that more often.
A little too much talk is never too much if it's directed to the right Someone.