One day my little toddler, with his superman cape and Nemo fruit snacks, became an almost eleven year old, hitting line drives and anxiously awaiting his first day of middle school.
Now, we have a little over a week to go and he'll be trekking off to camp, for a whole week, with no "how was your day" or "goodnight" from Mom or Dad. Just the thought of it makes me want to weep in my pillow where I should be sleeping at this late hour.
I almost can NOT bear the thought, and you probably think I am crazy, over-protective Mama. And maybe I am. And I don't care. I want to have a sit-in at his bedroom door and stay there until he's sixtee...no, eighteen, when the law says I have to let him go.
Five nights away. Boo. I know.... it's going to be a blast...after all, he's going with his best friend, and he'll be getting some good ol' Bible teaching. And I pray for peace, and God's protection over him...but I just keep fretting, and imagining, and thinking....
And that's when I came upon this verse in James 1:
6 But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, 8 being a [double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.
Aaaargh!!! If I feel anything...it's UNSTABLE. My insides quiver at having to let go. I just don't wanna.
One day of scrolling through the news will make any mama want to strap her children to her back, no matter how grown they are. We just want to protect.
But there's Someone who can do it so much better.
Yes, I know. And I certainly would rather not be considered like "the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind".
So while I type this with a lump in my throat the size of my dear home-state of Texas, I will begin to trust, to have faith, that while my little boy is not so little anymore, my God is just as big as He's always been...and He loves my son in a BIG way, even when he's not close to home.