Friday, December 10, 2010

A Doubting SAHM

Can I really play the pregnancy card when it comes to emotions? I have just been one not so fun, stressed out, un-nice mama lately. I feel like I walk around in a haze of knowing what needs to get done, planning on doing it, and then getting completely off track! That is not exactly abnormal for my non-pregnancy self, but lately it has gotten under my skin and made me grumpy!
I feel like I have stepped backwards about 7 years, where I have one child home all the time, and don't know how to entertain him ALL day long! You'd think after raising 3 toddlers I'd have figured out some tricks. But alas, I am in the shoes of a frustrated SAHM having serious doubts that I am better for my son than full-time least there he would be learning, interacting, and having structure all day long...Here, he gets bits and pieces of me, a couple of stories read, maybe a game played, but the rest of the time is mommy rushing around trying to get things done.
My biggest confession in this, is that sometimes I really don't want to sit down and "play". UGH! I wish I could redefine the role of SAHM in my head and realize that I am NOT the trick of all trades...that I am a loving, caring, ready-to-help mom, but not a preschool teacher, a psychologist, a day planner, a maid...the list goes on of the roles I must play, but am far from mastering.
I never understood the concept that weather changes moods...but after suffering through last winter, and now trying my darnedest to stay positive this winter, I think perhaps there is truth in the weather mood annoying! I keep quoting on of my favorite characters, Scarlett O'Hara, "Afterall, tomorrow is another day"...well it's tomorrow now, and I am disappointed in how much effort it takes to push me forward, but if I get off this computer right now, I might be able to redeem myself. ;)


  1. I can relate to this - it is so hard figuring out how to entertain my boys day in and day out, but I refuse to believe they'd be better anywhere else but here with me. (Even if I'm running around doing lots of other stuff than sitting and playing with them!) It is so good for our kids to know that being home is a good thing, and they don't need to be entertained every moment of the day. Don't ever underestimate choosing them, Ang! I sooo know it gets boring and hard with the weather!!! SOoooo know...... But don't let Satan get at you girl!! You are more than enough for your boys and that little girl that's being knit together in you.

  2. I'll be praying for you Angie! Take each moment as it comes, that is all that matters, one moment at a time. And God will lead you into all truth. Deep breath and like Alisa said... don't let Satan mess with you! God has given us the power to rebuke in His name. I pray your day only gets better from here! :)

  3. Oooo... I think we all feel this way at times, Ang! (I'm blaming hormones for my cranky today, too!) Thanks for the honest post!

  4. Yep. I get it. And let me tell you, I feel that way so much. My mom reminded me recently though, that 'stay at home mom' is such a limited title. Remember that your entire household functions on your performance. Seriously. I don't know about you, but I do EVERYTHING. You are NOT just a mom. I am guessing that you are the person that gets the food and all other items for the house, cooks and prepares all the meals, does homework, cleans, buys everyone's clothes and makes sure they are cleaned, folded and hung up, organizes the house, takes everyone where they need to be, gives hugs, kisses, baths, and somehow manages to keep friends, write a blog, take pictures, and entertain boys. If I just remind myself that I am NOT just a woman who is a mom who cares for a child all day, then my chin raises back up. You are not alone!