I am off kilter. Last night I had a dream that my house was being taken over by junk. If you've seen the show Buried Alive, it was kind of like that...not as bad, but bad enough to make me anxiety-ridden as I slept! I had stuff everywhere and was desperately trying to clean up before our guests arrived (which happened to be our pastor and his wife!) I wonder if that meant anything?
What I do know, is that although my house is not as cluttered as my dream...our summer evenings have become cluttered enough that I feel disconnected from my husband. We have been playing "kid trade off" lately. He will come home from work and I will run to the store, go out with friends, take kids to swimming, or go get stuff done while he entertains the boys. He will come home on Tuesdays and Thursdays, change clothes, and then head off to coach my oldest's baseball games. We are ships passing in the night, starting at about 5 o'clock in the evening!
This has happened on and off since we've had kids, and I feel the backfire of this sort of busyness more than ever. It's a dragging, unbalanced feeling, and I just want to clear our calendars and start over, preferably on a beach somewhere with kids at their grandparents! Ha!I guess since my husband really is my best friend ever, loneliness overwhelms when we're not meshing. Fortunately, we have a fun weekend ahead, and although we'll be surrounded by friends and kiddos, I am going to make the effort to spend the time by his side and not in our usual archaic way of boys over there and girls over here!